The results of a three year study, 'The Big Picture'. Were recently published. The report highlights the detrimental effects that pressure to succeed is having on children. Too little is being done to help them cope with stress. Simon Bass writes further on this issue:

Society places greater pressure on children today than a generation ago. In a perverse twist of the scripture many children are forced to live adult lives in children's bodies. When Christ called a little child to him and said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18 v 12) He was exalting the virtues of innocence and purity. Sadly today children are encouraged to grow up too fast. Children are having to face up to adult pressures and concerns at an even younger age.

Therapy rooms for children

A national newspaper has recently reported on a Infant and Junior school in the Speke area of Liverpool which has just opened a therapy room for children as young as seven to reduce pupils stress levels through counselling, massage and aromatherapy.
How sad that as a society we have to respond to the damage we are doing to our children by reacting to the aftermath rather than tackling the cause of the problem. Why do seven year olds need counselling to cope with the stresses of life?

The formative years

The early years of a child's life are the foundation for the rest of his/hers life. It is a time when they learn who they are and how to get on with others. Their idea of who they are is shaped by the child's caregivers, children need positive, affirming attention.

In a Harris survey conducted for the Children's Society a few years ago over a quarter of the 1,300 children surveyed thought that adults never or hardly ever listened to their concerns. There is a clear message here that shouldn't be ignored. Increasing worries Children are faced with increasing pressures and worries; between April 1st 1997 and 31st March 1998 ChildLine counselled 115,146 children throughout the U.K. Children called about a variety of concerns including bullying, family breakdown, pregnancy, pressure at school and feeling suicidal.

Personal safety fears

In the Harris survey many of the children expressed concern about personal safety. This shouldn't surprise us as the news on a daily basis highlights the dangers children face. The nation was alarmed when two ten year olds went missing. At first it was thought that they had run away on some misguided adventure. After three days of intense searching the Police feared they would not be found alive. Amongst the jubilant celebrations of the news of the children's safe return home it emerged that they had been abducted by a man known to one of the girl's families. The man was later charged with abduction and other serious offences.

Danger from people we know

We teach children to be wary of strangers - we also need to teach them to be wary of the people they know. Over the past thirty years our understanding of the extent of abuse has developed from the ‘discovery' of the ‘battered baby syndrome' by Kempe and others in the 1960's; with the sexual abuse of children in the 1970's and with the horrors of organised abuse today. We have learnt that it is rarely a stranger who abuses. It is usually someone who knows the child a parent, babysitter, relative or friend, male or female, adult or child, of the family. We therefore need to teach children personal safety skills.

The Church's responsibility

The church also needs to take its responsibility for safeguarding and protecting children seriously. Indeed the Church has been described as the most dangerous place in Britain for children. There is an element of truth in this statement - the church is the only organisation in the U.K. working with children and those who perpetrate abuse against them – all within the same walls. Our mission is to the whosoever and our doors are open to all!

Support from CCPAS

At the Churches' Child Protection Advisory Service our helpline receives calls on a daily basis from churches faced with child protection issues. We are able to support churches and individuals in times of crisis. We also support churches and advise on how to implement child protection policies and promote good, safe childcare practices.

Stability for children

Children look for stability as they forge their own identity. Children who telephoned ChildLine expressed their concern about their families breaking up. The startling facts are that by the time they are 16, one in four children will have experienced divorce of their parents. Four in ten marriages in Britain end in divorce and lone parents constitute about 20% of all families with children. If children aren't able to look to their families for direction then their worldviews will be shaped elsewhere.

Children will be shaped by the values exhorted by the TV and the media. Peer pressure can then have an even greater influence as children try to conform in order to belong. The U.K. has the largest proportion of mother's aged 16 and under in Europe. This figure has risen by 11% to more than 8,800. One child was just 12 when she gave birth – a child who is now living an adult life due to the inadequacies and ineffectiveness of sex education which has no moral basis, and the peer pressure placed on children today.

Peer pressures

Children look to role models for direction, if their role models suggest that drink or drugs are fine and a child's peers believe the same they are more likely to experiment. Children imitate adults as part of their social learning, sadly many schools today are reporting that drugs are being sold in the playground.

Making the child's journey safe

Childhood is a journey full of discovery. Adults are charged with the responsibility of making that journey safe. A child's ability to love and relate to others comes from sharing the values and ideals of those around them. Our society puts enormous pressure on children to become adults and share in some experiences which should only be entered in adulthood when a person has the emotional maturity to cope. Let our children be as innocent as doves and we adults as wise as serpents.

 

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